Changes

So after I got married (Sept. 2010), the whole ordeal of changing my name over was bigger than I anticipated. What was to come aggravated me to no end but I am happy to report its all over with now!

First things first....get the evidence. Yes, the ACTUAL marriage certificate FROM the government. It begins with a form (doesn't it always?). You fill out the form hoping and praying its all filled out correctly. The questions they ask are not all straight forward. They at times use terms that one doesn't understand. So what do you do? You call them. Fingers crossed you can get a hold of an actual human to speak with. So I did. I spoke with a man who sounded like a 15 yr old kid who obviously wasn't married and hadn't gone thru the same ordeal as I was. He advised me to fill out the questions a certain way and then the call was over. So, off I go, back to the form. I fill out the form, seal it up in the envelope and mail it off. Now you wait.

2 weeks later, a  letter arrives from the government in a bright yellow envelope. Guess what! The form I filled out was done incorrectly. Of course it was. Silly me to think that filling out a government form could be done easily. Apparently, I left out some vital information. What? sigh. Ok, so I couldn't understand what I did wrong, so I pick up the phone again. This time its a nice lady who is obviously married and has been thru this before cause she really sounded sympathetic. Either that, or I'm gulable. Whichever, she calmed me and answered my questions. So, in bold letters in the new form I write : I WANT TO CHANGE MY LAST NAME TO MY HUSBAND'S SURNAME. I really dumbed it down for them. It was kinda like do you not understand the words that are coming out of my mouth? After providing them with EVERYTHING short of a blood and urine sample, I mailed it back to them, now with my toes crossed as well.

A month later, it arrived. Now that the certificate is in my possession I could go to all the places needed to change my name. First stop, Service Canada. Walk-in, tell them what I want to do. Do I have my birth certificate you ask? Of course not. So, back home I go. Not only do I pick up my birth certificate, but my passport as well, just in case. Kinda funny that I say 'just in case', cause they asked for it at my next stop. Once my SIN card was changed I went to get my driver's licence changed. Easy peesy....sort of. The lady behind the counter questioned my morals more or less. "You are giving up your last name??" That is literally her question! "You are throwing it away, no hyphen?" Umm. no. This woman was of a east European decent, and perhaps things are done differently there. Way to make me feel guilty! I soon realized after she asked me that question, that it really was none of her business, so I kept my answer to "nope". Sign here, stand there for the photo. Done. Leave now.

I made my way to the health card office where I was told I could have changed my driver's licence there too. You mean I could have prevented my feelings from being hurt at the last place? Dammit. Ah well, what is done is done. Sign here, stand there for the photo. Done. Walk out feeling better.

Reminder: change passport, credit card, subscriptions,...I'm probably forgetting something...

I've learned that having my name legally changed to my husband's last name does not erase me from my family. It just means I'm being added on to a new one. I will always be both. My maiden name is still me. I will always be a part of that name. I just joined a new group as well. One that, lucky for me, has welcomed me with open arms and I feel very lucky.

Who I am and who I've become are now the same.

Alexis